Bill Chandler

Anxiety and the Quest for Perfection: Fuhgedaboudit!



Posted: Thursday, October 22, 2009

by
Hope and Healing Dynamics

As we begin to recover from panic disorder, any mind variance for that matter, we spend so much time monitoring the frequency and intensity of our symptoms. As humans, pain isn't out thing; so we're always looking for signs that our suffering is coming to an end. And, naturally, we're hopeful, and our expectations are high.

That's understandable, and the quest for wellness is a healthy sign of recovery. However, if we're not careful we can easily fall into an obsession with the very unrealistic and destructive goal of achieving perfection.

To this day I have symptoms of anxiety. Now, I don't have panic attacks or other life-interrupting demons; however, little annoyances occur from time to time. And probably always will. Don't forget we may well have a genetic predisposition for panic, anxiety, depression, etc.; on top of which lies all sorts of additional goofy neural routings driven by our life experience.

Okay, sure, we might like for this not to be the case, but that just isn't realistic. I mean, ask an alcoholic if a cold beer wouldn't taste good once in a while, or if sharing a glass of wine with someone special wouldn't be nice. As a recovery alcoholic of 25 years I can personally tell you the answer is yes, but it's a non-issue. I'm not going to drink, and that's all there is to it. So why get hung-up over a few very human thoughts?

Sometimes we breeze through our day with very few, if any, symptoms of anxiety, only to have one or two sneak up later. Yes, it can make us angry and disappointed; however, we have to come to realize just how very unreasonable and unfair we're being toward myself.

We can't expect perfection because, frankly, we won't find it. Chances are we'll have symptoms and little annoyances for the rest of our lives. So what! Over time we learn to manage and accept them for what they are. And that's because we've gained insight as to the context within which they occur, and know precisely what to do about them. In time they become very minor inconveniences, even ongoing reminders of our humanity and the character building value of adversity.

Think about those who suffer from chronic back pain, asthma, diabetes, and on and on. Anxiety can be inserted right in there. What, just because we suffer from a mind variance, that's different? No way. Pain is pain.

Take some time to think about your pet self-perfection peeves and how you've learned to accept and manage them. And if your pondering reveals you're a bit low on the insight scale, think about what you can to purchase a piece of reality. Why not write these things down?

Let's go easy on ourselves. Perfection is totally unreasonable and not at all necessary in securing a happy and peaceful existence. Indeed, the quest for perfection only brings disappointment and distress.

The evolution of Bill's life passion, counseling, is based in his personal battles with panic disorder, depression, and alcoholism. In their midst, he swore if he got out of the mess he was in he'd help others do likewise. Well, he did and it became time to deliver on his commitment.

Bill's approach with clients is grounded in respect, hope, empathy, education, challenge, and the realization of dreams. He doesn't look to tell anyone what to do, rather he talks about goals and how to transition them to reality.

In addition to doing psychiatric emergency work, Bill continues to do a lot of writing and speaking. Bill is a member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (N.A.M.I.). He resides in the western suburbs of Chicago where he enjoys time with his two teenage children.

Please visit his blog...
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